The Life I Choose 

Hello beautiful people!!!

Today, I’m bringing forth a touchy subject for me. I’ve put so much thought and feeling into this post. Anyone going through what I’m going through, this is for you.

Today is March 3, 2017 and I vow to start living my life for me. Sometimes you do things to make other people happy or satisfied with you. It eventually starts to weigh you down because you feel like you can’t say or do the things that are going through your mind. All of your feelings and thoughts are trapped inside your body and it really starts to do some damage. That’s the worst feeling because you start to watch yourself fade away.

Growing up, for the most part I was an obedient child. I had a hard-head and I was very social but I did what my parents asked of me. However, most days it never seemed enough. Now, before you go thinking I had a rough childhood and my parents were awful,that wasn’t the case. I’m saying, my parents expected so much of me that I felt that I had no choice but to be the person they wanted me to be. The life they wanted for me was great and all but it wasn’t completely me. Still to this day, there are some things I just can’t say to my parents or anyone for that matter in fear of what they might think or say. Today, I vow to start living my life for me.

As you know, if you’ve read any of my other posts, I am in a relationship with that cuteness up there. If you didn’t, the wife and I will be going on 3 years next month! She’s going into the Navy and she leaves this month. Through our entire relationship there’s been nonstop doubt thrown at us. I’m tired of worrying about what other people think about my relationship. She is very caring. She takes care of me. She provides for us. She holds us down. She is the best girlfriend I could ask for. With that being said…..I am happy to announce that I am engaged!!

I have been engaged for a year now and we’re just waiting on the right time to tie the knot. I’ve been so afraid to let that out, but I knew it was the right time to say so. The more I write, the more confident I get but I’m still the girl stuck on the other side of the keyboard. So, I was hoping that telling all of my blog family at the same time would be the easiest way to go for me. Today, I vow to start living my life for me.

I struggled finding a major in college for the past 2 years and I’m finally going to major in something that will help me reach the goals I have set for myself. I felt like I needed to be someone I wasn’t to make other people happy.

I played softball for 11 years. I loved it, but I quit because I grew interest in other things and that disappointed people.

I played clarinet for 6 years and stopped because I had other dreams. Once again, disappointment.

My point in writing this to you guys is because I want anyone that is going through something similar to what I’m going through to be able to read this and take something away from it.  It’s hard to say “no”, but once you say it, you start to feel better.

Moral of the story: be you. Do the things that you love to do. You have to make yourself happy first before making anyone else happy. Live your life for you. There is only one you and no one can live that life for you.

Be brave. Be smart. Be you.

Xoxo,

Lex

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